How to Build Confidence (Part Two)
November 30, 2020
Romantic Relationships
Stop pointing out your flaws and insecurities. Stop making a display of what you're insecure about. We don't care. Harsh? No, we are with you because we think very highly of you, I dare say we are attracted to you. As far as we're concerned you're perfect. They don't care about the scar you got playing soccer or the extra lbs/kg you gained over the holidays. We care about the person you are, how hard you work, and that you'll do fun things with us.
I can tell you right now, if a guy kept insulting themselves on a date with me and was constantly looking for external validation - there will not be a second date. As a partner I am not here to be your source of validation. I'm responsible for my own as are you. I want to be able to hype you up when you're down and let you know how amazing I think you are but if you keep rejecting it and don't believe it - why should I?
Exposure Therapy
Do what you're scared of:
Wear the sports bra to the gym if you're terrified of people staring at you because of your body. After the 5th time it will get easier - after the 122th time you'll be strutting in with your head held high.
Same thing goes for regular clothing. Wear what you feel confident and sexy in but every once in a while push yourself. Wear those shorts if you're insecure about your legs. Put on something you don't think you can "pull off" and walk out the door.
Buy the clothes that are YOUR size - do not buy a shirt that you 'want to fit into one day'. If nothing in your closet fits you - your confidence WILL PLUMMET.
Get Talking. If you're insecure about your personality talk to everyone for practice. The cashier, the waiter, the bus boy. Take an interest in what they have to say and what they do. Make a positive impact on their day.
Go to and stay in a social situation where you might be out of your comfort zone. Make a point to not necessarily get people to like you but to just brighten their days a bit. Don't put pressure on making friends but more so on making connections.
Take Pride in Yourself
Take pride in your appearance because you are good enough. Shower, shave, moisturize, tan, exfoliate, rest, exercise, eat fueling food, and put on whatever clothes/makeup you feel good in walking out the door. If you feel your best in no makeup and a nice top - thats what you do. If you need some make up to feel put together with leggings - strut your stuff. To take pride in your appearance means to feel good about yourself when you walk out the door (or just around the house).
